Shouganai
by hardeehar
Summary: They were like a mix of brown sugar, cinnamon and chocolate, I wanted to melt just thinking about them. But, alas, I knew it was futile, thinking of those warm chairo no me. Japan/OC
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N] 'Allo! ^_^' This is one of my first, serious, fanfictions. I'll say this now, I'm not going to be the fastest updater, so hold tight. Also, I don't speak Japanese, and I used google translate in this, so if anyone would like to correct me, I welcome it!**

Special thanks to my Romano ^_^" as if you'd read this :{D.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia in any way shape or form. I only claim rights to Hoshiko, Chikara and Michiko.

/Edit: I realized a vital mistake in the dream sequence.

\\|Shouganai|/

*THUD* I toppled over from the sheer force of me ramming to the man now below me. My first instinct is to cradle his head to keep his cranium from spilling out onto the linoleum floor of the New York airport.

/Before/

'Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap... I'm going to be so late, and so screwed. I need to get there on time!,' I scurried around the crowd of towering unfamiliars, one actually halting my race to ask if i was seperated from my mother. Jeez, I know I'm small in height, but really?

Distracted by my internal muttering, I didn't notice the mother and child in my way. The western woman screeched as I maneuvered nimbly around her and her oh-so-precious child, the woman in question proclaiming her love as so in the form of insults. Nevertheless, I ignored the comments and looked back to see if she was alright, such action caused me to not notice the group of people in front of me...

/Now/

'I really need to watch where I'm going...', I pull my from my shoulder and look at the man under me. I was met with chocolatey orbs. I soaked in his appearance. He was eastern-asian, possibly Japanese, like me, and his hair was cut straight, not feathery like most westerners like it. I only lie there a second more before I sprang up, calling out my apology to the loiterers and went to find a taxi.

I wove in and out of the people mingling on the New York sidewalk. I nearly had to leap into the one-way road to reach a taxi. It's bright taxi sign glowed in the setting of a sunset in New York. No one saw the bright orb falling towards the horizon, but it was reflected on the shiny windows of the tall skyscrapers I took no time to admire.

All the way to the World Conference centre, I thought about those warm brown eyes that stranger had. They were like a mix of brown sugar, cinnamon and chocolate, I wanted to melt just thinking about them. But, alas, I knew it was futile, thinking of those warm _chairo no me_.

/Later (Midnight)/

I had just settled into my room in the maid quarters. The job I had recently acquired provided fellow workers and I a place to stay, but paid less than somewhere else. But that was at the back my mind. The setup of the place was simple. There were five female maids and five male cleaners. The sexes were kept separate a sturdy white wall. Also, I learned, from admiring the map given to me, that America the personification lived on the estate. This should be interesting...

I collapsed onto the lavender scented twin bed and snuggled into the well-used comforter. I fought to stay awake, slightly wary of the new environment before I slipped into a fitful slumber.

/Dream/

_A young Japanese girl frollicked in the long grass, running from butterflies (for her fear of them wasn't as strong then). Everything surrounding her seemed to burst with color. Her long silky hair fluttering in the breeze. It was peaceful, and you could feel life all around you. The girl, no more than 8, giggled as she ran through some weed petals scatter by the breath of the Earth. Two adults watched her play, the color slowly fading to monochrome. _

"Kanojo no ryōshin wa ima 6-kagetsu-kan yukue fumei ni natte iruga, Michiko, anata wa kinishinai? _(Her parents have been missing for 6 months now, Michiko, do you not care?)", the taller one of them spoke clearly, his voice masculine. The shorter one was hidden by their black cloak, "_Watashi wa dono kurai no okane ni narudarou? _(How much money would I get?)_

_Her voice was rough, like sandpaper, and hostile. You could smell smoke on her. Chikara wanted to get as far away as possible from this vile woman. He felt a pang of sympathy for the child. ,"Enough". Even though he spoke in english, Michiko understood and walked back to the vehicle she had arrived in._

_Chikara sighed and clutched his black fedora to his chest as he strode towards the cheerful girl. As if sensing his negative mood, she halted in her joy and faced him, with all the seriousness she could muster. Chikara kneeled before the girl, and apologized, in english. Even though she didn't understand, she soon would. He truly felt sorry for the small girl, the star child, Hoshiko._

**[A/N] The End! No, not really. Most reviews are welcome, unless they're stupid, then don't bother. All of you will get a better description of Hoshiko in the next chapter. Ask questions! Correct my grammar! Make pointless comments like, "OHEMGEE tha was sooooooo aewsom!" And if anybody could correct my Japanese, I would also be extra thankful. I'm going to sleep, then work on some artwork! Words words words words.**


	2. Chapter 2

{A/N Sorry for the late update! I like writing this, but sometimes I need a reminder, just send me a note/PM and that will give me the boost I need}

/Two Years Later/

"Hey, Hoshi! Did you hear? They're going to hold the World Conference in America for December!," I listened to my friend Stacy's gossip as we cleaned America's kitchen. She towered over me, her being 5'7", me being 4'8". I hummed in false interest, for America already made me aware of this, something Stacy picked up as well. "Did America tell you already?," *nod*, "Damn, how do you put up with that man, he is so annoying."

I stared at her as she continued to clean, trying to catch her attention. It was an ongoing circle. America and Stacy were my best friends, when we Stacy and I, or America and I were alone, we got along great, but, mix the two together, you would get a terrifying result.

The older woman felt my stare and ceased her mopping. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting you don't like me talki-,"

"Hoshiko~! Now I'm here, you can have a good morning!"

Alfred skipped into the now tidy kitchen, his loud humming resonated in his throat and it danced of the walls and floor. I recognized it as "God Bless America". I giggled at his ego. The man who was dressed in grey sweatpants and wifebeater turned to me, fist clenched and cheered, "No worries Hoshi! I'm here to save you from the evil Anastasiya!" The young woman in question growled and snatched the polishing rag I held and whipped it at the country. I watched them squabble as I continued Stacy's mopping. They just need to get together already...

And this was my daily life, chatting with friends, glaring at my nemesis', all that fun stuff. Days like this, I envied Stacy, who was the 'representative' of the housekeepers. While she wasn't here the longest, she always looked presentable. Even as she rolled out of bed, she could comb out all the tangles of her short auburn hair, while it took me five minutes, maybe more, to rip the rat's nest that formed in my deep sleep. Other than in the mornings, it was very tame.

While she got to interact with new interesting folk, I was forced to chat with the same people who tests my patience. The never-changing circle had me running low.

When Stacy returned to me, she resumed our mostly one-sided conversation as if nothing had interrupted us, "So I was thinking, you could help with serving the guests." I looked at her sharply, "Is that wise, Stacy-chan? Have you even checked with Dreskeliv-san?" "No... but Ameri-Dolt has authority over her, and I'm positive he won't mind you there. I know you'd like to get out of the spin you're in," the Russian grinned as the last words tainted by her light accent left her lips. After only a split second of consideration, I nodded furiously, as if I did it too lightly, I'd be looked over.

The clunk of the mop was heard as Stacy pulled me away from the kitchen and onto the the freshly shoveled path that led to the main building. Stacy easily darted through the only garden for miles, something I could never accomplish. In an urban jungle, I enjoyed every bit of greenery there was, if though it was white with snow. It made me miss Japan (the place). I was tugged through the back door of the large white building into a mud room. I shook snow off my boots and shivered from the cold I had escaped. "Here, wear this," soft fabric was thrust into my arms. I held the outfit away to observe it. It a pale grey blouse with a darker grey frill for the collar paired with black slacks. A gold pin, placed where your heart would be, said my name.

I chuckled as observed it, "And if I say no- Stacy?" I looked around to find my friend gone. Sneaky little- "Hey Hoshi!," I heard the voice of my other friend, America as he stomped into the tight quarters of the mud room. "America-kun," the ordering of my aunt kicked in, and I bowed at a neat 15 degree angle. America smirked a little, but worry was evident on his face. "Yeah, hey, have you seen Stacy?"

I stood still, in a shocked state. Why would America be asking for Stacy? Is the world ending? Is America-kun fatally ill and is seeking her out to confess his undying lo- "Hey Hoshi, uh, you there?" I snapped to attention, "Gomen ne, America-kun, I just saw her, she had asked me to help her with the World Meeting next week" I watched as America stopped his limited pacing to grab my shoulder, which made me uncomfortable. "Okay, yeah, that's good, you can do it!," I stepped back, "Do what America-kun?" "Well, apparently Stacy messed up the dates, everybody came today..."

That's when it all clicked. Stacy was always trying to get me to socialize, and often went to extremes. But this was too far! Not only would I have to talk directly to a group of people. I would have to talk to important people. I would have to talk to... _men_. I've always been bad at talking to people, but I can't stand a man even _looking_ at me. Except America, but he's like a younger brother. I don't see him as a possible partner for me. I heard my little Stacy voice in my head, _'__Would__you__listen__to__yourself__? __You__dissect__emotions__, __that__'__s__why__you__'__re__so__bad__at__socializing__.'_

"Hey Hoshi, you really need to stop zoning out, I need you to make preparations!," my light brown eyes that had gone hazy with thought snap towards the unusually worried man's face, "Gomen ne, but I don't know what to do..." America paused to think, "Well, we gotta sit down at the table-thingy, and, uh, we need food and stuff."

I closed my eyes and sighed, blowing my bangs away for a moment. I looked up, grinning at America in confidence.

/

_I__'__m__crazy__, __why__did__I__do__this__?!_ I had just alerted the staff to the change in plans and was on my way to the group of countries waiting in the foyer. I bit my lip and expertly put on the serious face i had perfected in high school. Until they all turned to face me. _Why__do__they__all__have__to__be__so__attractive__?_ I regained my composure and looked down. I let myself bow deeply, and expressed my apology with 'moushiwake arimasen deshita'. As I rose from my bow, I saw only two others rise from a bow as well, though they had not dipped as low as I had. A blond man who I presumed was France spoke to me, "Ohhonhonhon~! And you are to be our host, hmm, how lovely..." I stood rigid. Naturally, I was uncomfortable with a stranger talking to me, but on top of that, I was suddenly aware of how everyone towered over me.

While I stood at a staggering 4 feet 8 inches (142.24 cm), the men that surrounded me were significantly taller than me. The one closest to my height was the one wearing a Japanese naval suit. _So__that__'__s__Japan__..._ I glanced at each of the countries gathered. All seemed to be semi-interested in me. _Let__'__s__hope__that__interest__will__lessen_. I quickly snuck a look at America who was, surprisingly, glaring at France. I managed a small smile that probably made me looked constipated. "If you could follow me, messieurs," I timidly waved a hand for them to follow before practically running to the conference room that held a long table. 9 chairs were already pulled out at the end, including a chair at the head of the table.

I left them to choose their own seat and walked into the kitchen.

To find that all of the cooks were gone. I bit back a whimper as I rushed over to a note on the counter. _'__There__'__s__a__blizzard__on__the__way__, __we__were__all__sent__home__, __good__luck__, ~__Mikael__,'_ I crumpled the note up and tossed it in the paper bin. _I__'__ll__have__to__speak__to__Dreskeliv__-__san__about__the__staff__here__..._ I spun in place for a second or two, think of all the dishes I could make. Grabbing the menus that sat in the middle, I pulled the sheets of paper out and flipped them over, pulling out my lucky pen from behind my ear and held it in my left hand. It was imitation ivory with a topaz star for the push-button. I began to write down the dishes I knew by heart, but backtracked, _will__I__even__have__all__of__the__ingredients_? I replaced my pen and sped over to the refrigerator. I searched for where they kept the seafood and found they only had salmon, tuna, shrimp and lobster.

_Well__, __that__limits__... __everything_. I stormed out after taking note of everything I'd need. I jotted everything down on the nine menus and burst through kitchen. _Stupid__..._ I thought, _that__'__s__a__good__way__to__bring__attention__to__yourself__, _but I noticed this didn't happen. In fact, everyone else was distracted by an argument between France and a man with noticeably large eyebrows. America was simply laughing his ass off, and I noticed the tallest of all of them was chuckling darkly. The man a ponytail had an annoyed look on his face, Japan sat uncomfortably, the boyish looking guy who sat next to him had his eyes closed and was wriggling happily. The blonde to his right looked absolutely livid.

Just as I was sure the blonde man would burst, I watched as caterpillar-brows turn on America. A sudden rage overcame me as I watched as who I deduced as England yell at the one I could call a brother. My hand shot out and grabbed whatever it could find, which was a pretty vase blue vase with a single sunflower in it. I watched myself through the innocent pottery in what felt like an out-of-body experience. Blue colored pieces of clay shattered everywhere, clattering on the warm colored hardwood floor. Everyone was suddenly still as they turned to stare at me.

I stared the menus I had crafted angrily. The room was quiet as I tossed the menus onto the mahogany table and stormed back into the kitchen. I gasped and clutched my hip. It always started to hurt whenever I got angry. I stumbled to where the glasses were kept as I heard someone enter, the swinging door fluxuating from the inside to the outside of the kitchen. "Go away America-kun," I mumbled as I picked out 9 crystal tall cups taking 3 out a time. "Are you the only one back here?" I spun around and gasped when I heard a strangers voice. It was Japan. I bowed deeply, apologizing profusely, "Japan-sama, I did not see you!" _Great__, __just__great__..._ "No need to apologize, I did not announce my presence." he bowed slightly, but low enough to be formal. I gazed at the floor next to him, replaying his voice in my head, tinted by his Japanese accent. "You did not answer my question. Are the only one here?" I looked up at him guiltily. "_Hai_, everyone else went home for the blizzard. My friend dropped the job on me, she was originally supposed to be the host... but she ran off after giving me the position. And she moved the date today."

The man in front of me tilted his head slightly, "The date was always set for today." I snorted, I wasn't surprised. "Is there something I can help you with Japan-san? I was just about to come back with your water..."

"No, after you left, America started yelling at England for upsetting you. That unfolded to become an argument with most involved. I slipped away to make sure you were okay."

I looked away, I was ashamed of my actions, "Gomen ne, but I do not wish to speak about... Oh my!," I had just realized what context I used, "I-"

"Pardon me for interrupting, but I wish to save you from unnecessary apology. I wasn't offended." I was surprised by that. _Obisan__-__sama_ always slapped me for using the wrong amount of formality. He continued, "I also observed that all of the dishes on the menus were Japanese dishes. I wondered if I could help." I hurriedly shook my head, "No! I'm supposed to cater to you! I couldn't allow you to do such menial things!"

His head tilted to the side, which I now found endearing, and said, "But is it menial? What could be more important than the simple tasks. Without them, we would could never could accomplish anything superior." I pondered his thoughts for a moment, before going over to fill the tall crystal cups, "Okay" I dressed in an apron and collected a notepad. I delicately grasped the cups and placed them on a serving board. "Do you need help?" Japan looked nervously at the tray I lifted to the height of my shoulder. I smiled, "Heh! No, but if you could find the rice for me, that would be nice!" He quickly bowed and went to collected the requested item.

Then I realized how easily I smiled at him. How strange. I walked into a silent room, with everyone sitting uncomfortably, except for the blonde man with blue eyes and slicked back hair who was standing. I shifted uncomfortably under the stares of the countries in the room. I quickly ran around, depositing their glasses of water. I slid my notepad and pen from from apron pocket. "Do you know what you want to drink?" Everyone was silent, and most looked away bashfully. I sighed, now they were acting like children, and I was good with children. I kept my voice calm as I spoke, so as to not alarm them, "I'm not going to yell at you, I just want your orders. I'm sorry for my actions, I will make sure to not let it happen again."

I looked around, only for my eyes to lock onto England's. I blushed, but did not look away as I whispered, "I'm sorry." He looked at me for a moment before asking for his drink, "Tea please. Earl Grey." I quickly scribbled the order down in Japanese. It seemed England broke the ice, because immediately everybody shouted their orders.

"Red wine! S'il vous plait~"

"Your best bier, bitte"

"Baijiu, qing!"

"Vodka prosʹba ^J^"

"Pepsi, with a silly straw!"

"Veee~ wine~!"

I wrote their names next to their orders, and spun around to walk back to the kitchen when a soft, "Who are you?" I looked back, and was surprised to see a man that looked similar to America holding an adorable little bear. "Oh! I did not notice you! You're Canada, right?" I remembered one time Canada came over once to play catch with America, it was really funny, but I kind of felt sorry for the guy. The man looked utterly astonished I noticed him, "Oh! Er... this water's fine, thanks." He smiled timidly and I mimicked him, but I had a feeling it looked terribly _fake_.

{A/N: I'm ending it here, again, sorry for the really late update}


End file.
